I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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