you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
