Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
God I need to hump something, right now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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