did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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