the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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