Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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