Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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