FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
