Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
