sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
