Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
