so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
