So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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