Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
