i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
