Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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