I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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