this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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