i think i have two assholes
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
