There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
