one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
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I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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