i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
