I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
