VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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