My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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