I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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