Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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