someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
