To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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