I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
