The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
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I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize