Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
