i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
