i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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