I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
