I want to make a zoo with you.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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