Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
