remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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