names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
