i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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