i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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