Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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