8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My dick has a subreddit
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
