naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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