Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
