She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
