All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
