I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
there is another microwave in the elevator.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
