he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
