My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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