bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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