is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
