She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
