Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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