Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
