Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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