1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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