I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
