You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
A+ Viking dick
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
